friday is the new monday

Have Sex So Forgettable You'll Go Home And Slap Your Mama Day!

Today you should have sex that is so completely forgettable and not even worth the mess that you’ll get on a plane and fly back to your mama’s house so you can slap her across the face because she never told you sex could be so “eh.”

“You’re withholding,” your Mama will say, rubbing her cheek where you slapped her. “You got that from me.”

“But I want to give of myself completely and totally to another,” you’ll say. “I want to lose myself in strange flesh.”

“Psssh,” your mother will say. “If you figure out how to do that be sure and send me the handbook when you’re done, kay?”

You’ll slap your mother again. She’ll slap you back and then overturn the coffee table separating the two of you. Both of you grab a weapon and settle this once and for all.

Have Sex So Forgettable You’ll Go Home And Slap Your Mama Day!

Things Educated Black People Like: #28 Hiding Their Drama

EBP have the same problems as UEBP or WP. However, EBP take pride in hiding their drama from friends or co-workers. By allowing their drama to be brought into public light, EBP appear nothing more than the UEBP stereotypes portrayed by the media. Whether it be man problems, problems at work or catty-chick stuff; EBP will go to great lengths to protect their polished EBP public appearance. For there is nothing more embarrassing than to have an irate “ex” or co-worker scream or shout at the EBP in a public place. It is important to note that the EBP wants to shout back or fight, but that would make him/her an UEBP and destroy his EBP status.

So what does an EBP do when confronted with drama in public? He or she walks away in disgust. There is nothing more “educated” than to not give any response to such comments. If there is an audience of WP or AP, they will immediately comfort the EBP and congratulate him or her for remaining calm, because that’s exactly what they would have done. The EBP will respond by saying the irate person has mental problems and probably didn’t take their medicine today.

However, on the inside, the EBP is truly hurt. How could someone attempt to ruin his EBP status with their loud rantings? Soon after the confrontation, the EBP will begin seeing a psychologist or therapist, if he isn’t already. This will allow the EBP to let out his true feelings without being judged by an audience. This is a difficult thing for the EBP to do, because it is likely that the therapist is a white male. The EBP wants to get out his feelings, but it is difficult to air your dirty laundry without thinking the therapist is judging you. However, this feeling is soon lost when the EBP realizes that his is paying hundreds of dollars to not be judged.

Drama is a big part of the lives of EBP, but most of the public will never know.

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